


Kiss Cam

by XtaticPearl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Feels, Awkward Boners, Awkward Kissing, Bruce Banner & Thor Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Darcy Lewis Friendship, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Crack Treated Seriously, Dorks in Love, Drunken Kissing, Dubcon Kissing, F/M, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Kissing in the Rain, Loki Does What He Wants, M/M, Magic, Matchmaking, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Phil Coulson/Melinda May, Neck Kissing, Nick Fury is Not Amused, Phil Coulson & Pepper Potts Friendship, Platonic Kissing, Rough Kissing, Secret Crush, Snarky Jarvis, Soulmates, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Surprise Kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 00:02:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6098281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XtaticPearl/pseuds/XtaticPearl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Midgardian fun ideas don't go well together. Because when Loki takes up a challenge, he definitely goes overboard. The world stands still, forever and ever, true love and shit kind of overboard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Cam

**Author's Note:**

> YouTube. Blame YouTube. And Kiss Cams.

Reality is a dysfunctional word for people who fly in metal and throw parkour moves more often than stunt men. They are made of strange DNA, ones that work on adrenaline and madness than coding of normalcy. In a world where such men and women roamed freely in shielded glasses and baseball caps, it wasn't difficult to imagine stranger villains.

Loki looked down from the gargantuan statue, idly stroking the crown of the lady he was sitting on. They called her the Statue of Liberty, he remembered belatedly, and according to him didn't look much like Libertas, who he was sure had a better bone structure. The Norse God was bored beyond belief, having returned from _Coachella_  the previous week. The amount of mischief he could cause to inebriated mortals was one of the prime attractions towards the event for Loki. It fit in perfectly on his calendar too, right between the yearly open house meeting at Jotunheim and Seth's birthday gala. With his exile from Asgard, thanks to some unappreciated meddling from Sif, he was stuck making best of his time meandering through the other realms. Currently, he was resting at Midgard. Or rather, rotting, because there was no new idea he could find to spice things up.

Violence was always fun and chaos was his norm, but Loki craved for something better this time. Making the Avengers go on wild-goose chases of opening up portals was so last year and Victor Doom was fast drying up any other interesting ideas to stir things up. The Liesmith was looking to find something that would drive the puny imbeciles crazy and render them helpless, providing him with some comic and cosmic relief. He needed inspiration for his magnum opus. And sitting on the head of a copper Libertas was not working for him.

Sighing to himself, he cast an eye skyward and remembered the next event to visit on his day's itinerary. Maybe messing up the Knicks game tonight in the Knicks vs Bulls might give him some source of entertainment, he thought idly, before teleporting to the venue and transforming his form to that of a passer-by.

The game wasn't interesting enough for the God of Mischief but one strange fact caught his eye and set the cogs in his brain working. The utterly bewildering idea of a Kiss Cam made Loki's eyes sparkle and lips curve into a slow smile. To the humans, this might have been a source of good natured fun but to a mischief-maker with magic in his hands? 

It was the dough to a monster plan.

\--------------------------

"There's no such thing as soulmates, Clint," Natasha said for the hundredth time patiently, re-assembling her gun and fitting it back into her holster, "If there were, it would lead to global chaos and a world war."

Clint adjusted his hearing aid surreptitiously one more time, shooting a lazy look at the baby agents bustling below and looked back at Natasha with a scrunched face.

"You know, Nat? You are the single source of all things Goth and porcupine-y to counter any kind of romantic notion," Clint observed with a thoughtful face before breaking into a cheerful grin, "I love it!"

Natasha nodded in acknowledgement and smirked a bit before poking Clint's stomach with her foot.

"We're still on for DC this week?," she asked as Clint bounced up and they left the room toward the common floor, getting into the common elevator, "Phil's pretty pissed about some new Hydra baby in the Senate."

"You really think this'll be over in a week," Clint confirmed with a raised eyebrow at the reflection of Natasha on the mirrored elevator wall, "Cause it's Loki. He could stretch it for pretty long."

Natasha rolled her eyes at that but before she could say anything else, the elevator stopped and the door opened.

Bucky looked up from his tablet and saw the two ex-agents stare at him from inside the elevator. His eyes met Natasha's for a second and he saw the green eyes flash before they turned back to nonchalance. He walked in and nodded curtly at Clint when the archer mock-saluted him. The rest of the ride down was acutely silent and Clint discreetly looked between his best friend and the metal-armed supersoldier. He knew something was going on with them, that they had some kind of messed up history between them, but he didn't butt in out of respect. Well, it was partly due to fear of Nat playing tennis with his balls and also partly because he knew what Bucky could do to bones with his metal arm. Mostly though, it was respect.

Natasha looked at Bucky's reflection in the mirrored door and took in the pale eyes reading something on the tab. She knew enough about body language to know that he was reading the same sentence over and over. She let her eyes roam over his tight-strung face and remembered a face from her past, looking down at her as she traced a finger over that eyebrow. She grit her teeth and looked away, noting Clint trying to avoid her eyes and feeling a flash of annoyance at it.

The ping of the elevator brought them back to the present and Bucky strode forward first into the Battleground or the common floor of the HQ. Natasha followed suit and CLint sighed before trudging forward behind her.

\--------------------------

Phil Coulson knew that this was going to lead nowhere but he would just appreciate if Tony Stark and Steve Rogers stopped trying to grill it into his brain at every second possible.

"I CANNOT believe that you actually, consciously consider this to be my fault," Tony laughed bitterly, throwing his hands up and walking up to the next chair around the table, "Out of all the 1001 reasons possible for this absolutely ridiculous thing, you choose me. My God, Rogers! Did they pump your brain out before pumping the serum into your body?!"

"You put up BILLBOARDS all over the city saying that there was poison in the air that would get activated if people mixed their saliva with others, Tony," Steve repeated with a red face and wide eyes, taking a matching step around the table, "People are TERRIFIED and doctors all around New York are sending us hate mail. What were you thinking then?!"

"In that minute? I was thinking I would like a meat-sub!" Tony made a face and Bruce sighed quietly from his corner even as Clint rolled his eyes. Steve though looked like a vein would explode in his face any second.

"If the asses are done braying," Darcy commented and shrugged at the narrowed eye she got from Nick, "What? They've been going at it for twenty minutes now and I'm pretty sure about 10 people have been forced to kiss their soulmate in that time."

"Thank you, Agent Lewis," Maria muttered from her chair above and Darcy shot her a thumbs-up without looking.

"As we were discussing, before things got  _derailed_ ," Nick began, shooting an annoyed glare at Tony and Steve before addressing everyone else, "this is a magic situation. There's no science here, no Stark don't start again. All we know till now is that Loki has cast some sort of wide soulmate spell that is working all over the city. Now, as far as we can see and tell, it works like a kiss cam. People's faces flash on screens all over New York at random times, two faces of either friends or strangers. The faces are always of people standing within fifty feet of each other, so that's some kind of relief I guess. A countdown of 30 minutes starts then and they have to kiss by then or they end up feeling physical pain and bouts of depression. Now, it would have been fine with this even, but our Assgod went in and added a neat little twist to this. It seems like the world -"

Everybody stilled when the screens of the floor changed from the reading they were displaying to Jane Foster's face before Thor's face appeared alongside hers. Nick's eye was bulging and his mouth was still opened but he couldn't speak a word. Every single person standing in the room had frozen, except for Jane and Thor. Jane sighed but stood up and Thor looked confused for a minute before his face lit up and he almost galloped to Jane.

"It is us, Jane!" he boomed and Jane smiled at his enthusiasm before glancing around. Yep, the world was standing still alright.

"Let's just get this over with, alright, Thor?" she said but grinned and shook her head when Thor frowned slightly, "No, I'm not mad at  _us_ but...it's just not right for the others, you know?"

Thor's face softened and he nodded in comprehension as he took her hand in his own.

"I know, my dear," he said sadly but smiled and cupped her face, "Love is beautiful and soulmates are eternal. I am happy for us and all those who are happy with their love in this little matchmaking game my brother has set on us. But I do feel sorrow as you do too. It is a complicated mess, I see."

Jane cocked her head for a second before pulling Thor in and planting a soft kiss against his lips.

"Yeah, well, I'm kind of glad your brother chose us right," she said cheekily before Thor lifted her off the floor and went all into the kiss.

The others came out of their brief time-freeze as soon as Jane and Thor kissed. 

"-stops still," Nick continued from before his freeze and pinched the bridge of his brows at Thor still continuing his kiss, "Thor! Do you mind? Oh, you know what, just forget it. The words stops still till people kiss, like just now. Well, not the WORLD but the people in 100 feet of the people or 'soulmates' do."

"So we can't be in the same room as anyone who isn't Thor or Jane now," Sam said matter-of-factly, chancing a glance at the still kissing pair before quickly looking back at the others, "Clearly that ship has sailed."

"Yeah, that would be easy if we didn't have to, you know, be on the same team or something," Rhodey said sarcastically and exchanged a look with Tony who had sprawled himself over a high-chair, "Dr. Banner, you've still not got anything on Loki's location yet?"

Bruce shook his head as he cleaned his glasses, neatly avoiding bumping into Darcy who was stalking over to get Jane off from Thor's tree-body, "We're still tracking but he's jumping places faster than our trace. It'll take some time."

"Which is what we've not got," Coulson said clearly, looking at Tony, "Stark, between you, Dr. Banner and Dr. Forster, we should try and speed things up. Every minute that passes, some poor person is getting latched on to somebody he didn't know or somebody who isn't his/her partner."

"It's true, divorce rates are going off the roof in just one day," Clint said with a whistle, "I think the divorce lawyers of the city are sending Loki fruit baskets."

"Less expensive than shoe baskets, which is what I'll be sending Pepper by the end of this if we don't get our shit sorted," Tony mumbled and got a raised eyebrow from Steve which was promptly ignored.

"So, what's the plan?" Bucky asked quietly, the only one apart from Natasha who hadn't spoken a word since the meeting began, "How do we contain this till we catch Loki?"

"Contain it? I don't think that's a possibility at this point," Jane said between gasps as she smoothed her hair and stood firmly, Darcy standing between her and a grinning Thor, "All we can do is let this run its course and prevent any extremities."

"Well, that should be easy," Scott said with a shrug but Natasha simply stared at him.

"Five teenagers have committed suicide because they got outed in front of the whole world, three Senators have had to resign because they got matched with their opponents, twelve people have had to kiss their exes while they are married, twenty people have gotten hitched for life with deadly SHIELD agents and about 100 people have sued us for emotional damage," Natasha said calmly before looking at Thor viciously, "and all that was just the data from four hours."

"So essentially, we're screwed both ways," Steve said quietly and nobody bothered to correct him about his language.

Then the screens flashed again and Maria found her own face coming on.

Nick Fury wished he had gone blind before seeing Tony Stark choking on his own laughter at his expression when he saw his face flash next to hers. Nick looked at Maria and sighed as she walked down with a stoic face.

He glared at everyone and she kept her eyes open as they pecked and the spell broke, letting Tony continue his guffawing.

Clint looked at Natasha and raised an eyebrow at her.

 _Soulmates didn't exist, huh?_ he asked through his look.

Natasha glared at him and turned to see Bucky staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

She was really going to kill Loki when this ended, the Russian thought to herself furiously.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback please? Lets share some love before CACW tears our hearts up :D


End file.
